someone get that fucking seahorse.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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