there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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