at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
