Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
