Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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