i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
