She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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