remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
