...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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