You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
