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He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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