So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
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You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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