too bad you live with your parents still
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
