I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
