He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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