All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
