My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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