My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
