Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
