even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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