"it" just moved
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
