The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
