do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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