He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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