I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
