cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
