do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize