...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
