the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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