I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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