I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize