Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
