No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
