Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
