if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
