thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Im part way to drunk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
