Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
