It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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