STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
