unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
