Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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