How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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