Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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