YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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