Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
