i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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