Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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