I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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