Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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