she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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