I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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