I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm always down for nudity.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
