summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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