eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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