Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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