So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
