So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sext me about skeletons
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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