you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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