I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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