My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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