It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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