That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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