Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
