i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
